That's intense
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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