She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
