Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Swine flu. Run for my life!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
