Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Did I show you my penis last night?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
