He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
