I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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