even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
