Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry amazingheather hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.

Fav 18 4716 1667
share tweet
(716): View more from New York

On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar

(1-716): View more from New York

I think you broke the trashy scale

Fav 53 4519 2581
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(715): View more from Wisconsin

His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?

Fav 21 1537 1930
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum

Fav 2 487 718
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(218): View more from Minnesota

Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.

Fav 0 118 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT