Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
