We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
