the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
