He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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