WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first