there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.