So drunk its hurt
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Randomize
