I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
