please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
