Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
