it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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