i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
