Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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