she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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