he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
