Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
