Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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