Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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