have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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