Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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