you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
