She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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