Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
