whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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