Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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