My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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