I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
