Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
