apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
