I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
