I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
