The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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