Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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