Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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