Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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