alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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