walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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