Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
