The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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