Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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