It's Friday. Sex?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She told me I should be a condom model.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
