A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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