he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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