Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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