that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
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he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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