after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
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Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
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I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize