Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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