Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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