I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
