I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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