Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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