Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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