Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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