there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
