I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
