The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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